Dollywood.

Here’s what gave us a clear indication of what the day was going to be like...we pulled into the parking lot and there were (I counted) over 500 handicapped parking spaces. And every single one of them was full.

We decided to make a scavenger hunt out of the day and asked everyone at Hickstock for one thing we needed to get a photo with. It was wildly successful. Person with rebel flag on their person. Check. Southern Bell. Check. Mullet. Check. Person missing teeth. Check. The biggest person we could find. Check. Dolly Parton. Close enough. You get the picture (pun intended). We also decided that everytime someone would ask us where we were from (apparently, it was quite obvious we weren’t from those parts) we would take turns making up a different place. Camilo, of course, chose South Africa and even though his accent sounded like a mix between Indian and Swahili (there was some clicking), I think they bought it.

We received some wonderful reading material on how to save our souls because apparently "Surely, Jesus comes quickly." Um, yeah. I guess we do need some saving or at least someone to pray for our depraved and pitiful souls after our scavenger hunt.

We were able to score ourselves some lovely airbrushed t-shirts. Morgan’s decapitated unicorn beat Jen's view of the smoky mountains inside a butterfly. And, Jen had decided early in the day that she would not ingest anything unless it was fried...and started off the day with mozzerella sticks and fried chicken and ended the day with fried cheesecake.

If we had one suggestion for your trip to Dollywood, it would be this. Don’t go to Dollywood.